Thank you Lauren

I had a very profound conversation with Lauren yesterday. She will probably think this is funny because for one...we were chatting over skype for like 2 seconds but also, she was just being herself, challenging, and I so took what she said to heart! She was asking me why we are so hesitant to be transparent. I have been keeping a blog for a little over 2 months now and haven't shared it with anyone. There are plenty of reasons for this, primarily, privacy. I prefer to hold onto my thoughts. This may strike some as a contradiction of terms...Reagan+discretion=absurd. The truth of it is, I love to tell stories and play games, but I don't like to share the dark places of my soul or even the light places of my soul. I am in a different place in life than most of my close friends that blog. Lauren has the discipline, Casey has the will, Ben has the knowledge. I work for a Christian University but the parameters of my experience there are the four walls of our little cottage that houses four, really confused and discouraged individuals. I guess only three. I am not that confused or discouraged, just lazy. These are just excused so I will do it differently. For my own sanity, I have deleted a few entries but this is a good start.

I will take the liberty to write about frivolous things as well as the profound. Knowing me, you will definitely get more of the frivolous but that is fun too. For example, last night a crew and I went to this club to do a little dancing. Everyone was having way too much fun and where do I find myself...dancing like a mad man, everyone wondering how much I must have had to drink HA! (Little do they know that us Union People can dance with the best of them without any type of stimulant.) It must have been Beth and me that danced the hardest and the longest without a drink in our hand! I love it. It really was fun to be out with everyone although I was dreading it at first.

Now, a smidge of the profound. I was reading in Romans this morning (I know, dangerous territory) Let this one smack you in the face. It is after the 'oh so painful' remark "And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done." Dang! Then an entire list of those things...painful. Then the part that really got me. "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" Holy conviction! This is me. This is me. I PRESUME on the riches of the Lords kindness. This is a very dangerous place to be. I must move away from this type of relationship with the Lord.

Wow, that is WAY too much transparency for my first day on the job. Moving on...